


The Dame Who Shagged Me

by bewareofbabyjakey



Category: The Creatures (Youtube RPF)
Genre: Has something to do with Lucy, Other, crackfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-20
Updated: 2016-03-20
Packaged: 2018-05-27 20:30:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6299257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bewareofbabyjakey/pseuds/bewareofbabyjakey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>James likes to think he lives on the edge, but honestly his job can get a bit dull at times.</p><p>Good thing there's someone to entertain him for the night.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Dame Who Shagged Me

**Author's Note:**

> Please don't take this seriously. I literally wrote this after having a midnight write idea, and then posted it on tumblr a year ago.

The Colorado winter was something that never failed to chilled James to the bone. Even as he passed through the glass door into the neon colored bar, he huddled his jacket close to his body. Why he accepted this position to be placed in the middle of fucking nowhere, he could probably respond with only ‘money’. Being paid to watch over a laptop sounded easy enough, meaning he had free time to do whatever.

Except there was nothing to do except go from hotel to hotel and hit on a few town girls.

And get high, but that was something that his supervisor had advised him not to do. Killjoy.

James rolled his eyes in memory of his boss’ words, finishing his first shot in a few seconds. This was his third night in this average hotel, and nothing interesting has happened. He poured himself another glass. Guess it was time to move on.

Then she came in.

Chiming bells had him spinning his chair to see the newest addition to the night bar boredom and almost immediately his eyes were drawn the bulging bosoms that hung of the blonde woman. Wow, those were fine specimens. She had curves that seem to be accented by the heavy jacket, its material clinging to her waistline as it was straining at the top. Not a surprise because of the weather and her boobs, but it had James wondering what lied underneath. Her long, lustrous hair came down in waves, not nearly covering the the span of her chest. He can already imagine pulling on it when he-

“Hi there.”

James’ brief scenario was interrupted by the high tone this mysterious woman spoke to him. He shook his head, remembering to present a heavily nice, heavily interested smile in which she returned. Oh hell yeah. “Hi there yourself.”

“Mind if I take a seat here?” Her question was breathy and husky, sending a pleasant chill down his spine. He nodded, patting the stool next to him. With another smile, a smile that spoke more than politeness, she sat down. “Name’s Lucy, by the way.”

“James….James O'Doherty.” Real names were big no to use in this type of field. It’s not like his coworker was gonna mind using his surname on the job. “Can I treat you to a drink?” Gotta play this cool, man.

“Just share this bottle, talk with me, and I’m good.” Oooh. Pretty blunt, a bit of a chatter bug. James can handle that. A wave the bartender and now there’s another glass accompanied by a fresh bottle of scotch. He pours the glass for Lucy, making sure to brush his fingers against hers. Chicks seem to really like the whole making contact thing. Kinda hard to do when she insists on wearing her sunglasses, which struck James as odd, but whatever. Everyone has their own weird habit. 

Hours pass by without notice. The open bottle was drained as the clock’s hands rotated, their glasses filled and emptied with no other thought than how close can they get without being indecent. It was a pattern of hands coming close when a drink needed to be refilled, of legs swinging off the stool and rubbing against a calf on ‘accident’, and lingering stares on wet lips.

James was surprised to find Lucy making the first move. Her hand gripped his knee and squeezed, almost making him choke on the amber liquor. It didn’t help that her nails were sharp, trailing up to his thigh and- _hello those was his privates._ She simply giggled at his gasp, giving another squeeze before pulling back.

“So. Your room or mine?”

Random dollar bills were tossed at the bartender as he literally dragged the woman off her chair. His brain was a little blurred so he missed the elevator twice in his attempts to bring it down. Then again, her nails digging into his backside was rather distracting as well. Once the doors opened, button pressed and fully in, James had her pressed against the wall.

The kiss was rough and sloppy; he was sure she had made him bleed and that sent a pang of heat to his crotch. Feisty women were a personal favorite of his. Though he had to resist pouting when she smacked his hands away from her chest.

“I don’t do that on the first date.” James wasn’t even sure if she was joking or drunkenly serious, but whatever. His lips returned to hers in another wet kiss, his hands sensually rubbing her sides and thighs, occasionally reaching for her ass. Then the elevator slides open with a ding. Perfect.

Their mouths didn’t separate as they blindly reached for James’ hotel room which was, thankfully, two doors away from the elevator, but felt like an eternity to find. It was another damn struggle to find the room key because this Lucy girl did not let her nails up, and he was sure there were gonna be marks all over his back after this. Fan-fucking-tastic.

Air became more important than the taste of scotch and mint; James pulling away to pull shirt off. Lucy’s blatantly staring at his chest, her eyes then lowering down to the bulge in his pants. He can see the way she swallows, the way her eyes become half-lidded in arousement. Fuck, did that boost his ego. He chuckles, pushing her face down on the bed.

Once again, Lucy catches him off guard as she doesn’t turn over; instead, she goes on her hands and knees. Even does a little wiggle of her ass as she looks directly into his eyes. Wink.

Pants go unzipped and he’s on her in a snap.

Bed creaks.

Wall cracks.

Moans and screaming can be heard four doors down.

And then it was done. James pulls out with a grunt, falling flat on his back and staring into the green ceiling with a pleased grin on his face. Quick sex with clothes on is a little kink he doesn’t mind indulging in. He closes his eyes in satisfaction, paying no attention to the movement on his side.

Then he feels her leaning over him. His arms are placed above him in a firm grasp by feminine fingers. Oh man. “You ready for round two, baby?” There’s that cute, breathy giggle and- those were handcuffs going around his wrists now, what the fuck? “Um, very kinky thing you got going on there?”

“Nothing you can’t handle, babycakes.” Holy shit, that was not the same voice he heard earlier. James’ eyes snapped open in panic. The glasses were off to show the mischievous brown eyes that peeked down at him. “But first, I’m gonna grab something.”

‘Lucy’ flips to the other side and reaches under the bed. Sweat drips down James’ forehead; that’s where the laptop is and how the fuck does she know? All he could do is yank at the handcuffs and watch her posterior shake as the suitcase is pulled out from the under frame. In five fucking minutes, the supposedly tight locked case is opened and the very important computer is in her hands.

“Let me honest here and say, I had a really fun night. You sure know how to fuck.” It’s said with wink and a flip of the hair. She adjusts her clothing to a presentable state and holds the laptop with care. “Sorry it had to end like this, but hey. Maybe we’ll meet again, have some angry reunion sex, yada yada,” Lucy states casually, swaying her hips as she goes up to the exit.

James is still gaping in shock when she turns around and says with a smug look,

“By the way. I’m a man.”

The door is shut with a click.

And James is left in the room with no key, no shirt, and a government laptop stolen right under his nose.

“....that explains the penis.”

**Author's Note:**

> Note: The narration and events is supposed to make fun of Detective Noir and James Bond. Please. Don't take this seriously.


End file.
